Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
