Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
