There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
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