Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
