No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
