if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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