Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
