Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
