Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Randomize
