im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
