her vagine was all disorganized.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
