let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
