She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
