Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
