Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
