rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
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