When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
