I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
