Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
