We're like a lot better than the average bears
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
