the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
