i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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