I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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