none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
