I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
