We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
