they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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