and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
His hands were made for my vagina.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
