Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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