the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
