yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
