i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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