Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
