what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
