I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Let's get the cat blown out
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
