Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
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