I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
