so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
