Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
