It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize
