I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
