My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
