I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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