gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
this beer tastes like vomit already
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Randomize
