just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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