I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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