Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
