Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
