The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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