i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
