I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
