Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
