So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
